Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
