If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
