Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
