Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
