rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize