remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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