If i come over, it means nothing
This girl is more easily done than said...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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