She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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