atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
