Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
