I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
