turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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