The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
