'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
