I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
