1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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