The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
