I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
