Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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