he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize