I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
