i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
