I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
only if we run a train.
done.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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