it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
