i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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