A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
