I want to have your abortion
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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