I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
