I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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