official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
