my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
