When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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