evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You have to summon your inner elephant
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
