Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize