I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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