you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
