Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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