apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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