Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
