I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
