9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
