theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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