I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
