I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
