if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
