the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
