i think my tv is drunk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
