she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
