I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
