i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you mean i was at the winter classic?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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