I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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