I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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