But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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