She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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