Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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