nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
