Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
