Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize