theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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